Wouldn't kindness help the situation more? Wouldn't your true, beautiful self be more encouraging in difficult times?
Why is it easier to get ugly, when things get ugly? Because it makes you less vulnerable, and prevents your true, beautiful self from being rejected and hurt.
It's so sad to watch this happen with other people. People who you know are good, sincere, levelheaded. And it's embarrassing to see it in yourself. To look back at a situation and think, "gosh. I really didn't put my best self forward. That's not actually how I want to be remembered."
After a particularly ugly situation recently, I've decided to be more conscious of these situation, and be deliberate with my responses. I only want my pretty colors to show through, even when everything is going wrong.
After all, if you stay calm and pleasant during a nasty situation, your positive presence just might be what other people need to feel to get out of their own rut. (Or maybe not. Some people are just ugly.)