Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Toughen Up & Be Soft

Contradictory title, right? But I feel like that is the message women get from society these days.

Let's look at this in terms of a break up. Because, why not?

At this point in my life, I have been through a few break ups. I have cried over ended relationships. I have talked my friends' and family's and my therapist's ears off over ended relationships. I have tortured myself with the "what if" and "woulda, coulda, shoulda" games. All of this emotionally jarring, and physically exhausting work...just to end up right where I started, back to being single.

So what's the point of letting all of those emotions out? They hurt. They hurt you physically and emotionally and mentally. Why even bother making yourself vulnerable in a break up and exposing the raw emotions that the situation has given you?

Because it heals. It heals your heart, your mind, and your soul. You need to learn to feel those emotions, and then express them, and then grow from them. So go ahead and cry. And vent. And annoy everyone around you until they just stop listening.

And then toughen up. 

You can only feel sad, defeated, broken, and lonely for so long. The emotions are good, they're healthy, you need to feel them. But they stop being productive if you wallow for too long. You need to toughen up, find strength in yourself to move on, and grow stronger as a soft, emotional, tough woman.