Monday, August 5, 2013

Permission to Fail

Last night, my mom asked me how I have managed to weather the storms life has thrown my way in the last 6 months. I told her that it's a combination of a few factors...

1) Counseling. Having a non-judgmental, unbiased, caring person there to listen has made a huge difference to me. My therapist allows me, and even encourages me, to feel every feeling. And then she helps me reason those feelings (because I'm too logical for my own good, sometimes) and learn how to use them to grow.

2) Diet. In the past, stress meant that I would lose my appetite. That's still the case. However, I have learned how to use food as fuel, and have learned how certain foods impact my mood. When I feel stressed, I know that I need to keep eating, but also know that I don't want to fall into a pit of poor eating habits. Instead, I have certain healthy foods that are reserved for those ultra-stressful times. This makes those foods feel like treats, because I really only eat them when I am in a difficult place. And having them planned in advance helps me make better choices with my diet during those times.

3) Here's the one I actually gave the most credit to - CrossFit. Whether you agree with the physical regimen or not doesn't matter. CrossFit has taught me how to fail, and how to gain confidence in every fail. I walk in to my box a couple times a week, and more often than not, I look at the WOD and wonder how I'm going to make it through. And then I do make it through. Every. Single. Time. It isn't always pretty, but I have finished every single WOD I have started since May. But there are still skills that I have not mastered. I have yet to do a strict pull up, or muscle up. I am still doing double/triple singles in place of double unders. I will probably be doing modified rope climbs for another year. But that's all ok. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever thought, and I have more confidence in myself, and my body, than I ever have before.

So when my mom asked how I have weathered the storms, I told her that I have learned that it is ok to fail, because it means I tried. That in itself is a success, and I take this lesson with me in every area of my life.