I haven't been sleeping very well the last few nights. I'm in a new city, a new home, a new bed. There are sounds I don't recognize, and so much to think about and digest. At one point last night, I woke up, and was just thinking about how my first days in Colorado have been. Full of ups and downs, excitement, nerves, fear. It got me thinking - you can travel your life one of two ways: like you're on a roller coaster, or like you're on a train.
Trains are very direct, calculated, safe. When you travel your life like a train, you focus on your destination, and the best way to connect point A and point B. Bumps, twists, and detours are rare and can be cause for crisis.
Roller coasters are built to withstand all of the twists, turns, loop-de-loops. Those are the parts that make the ride fun, interesting, and worthwhile. When you travel your life like a roller coaster, you expect all of that excitement. It's also probably what you scares you the most...and yet you still do it.
So, here I am. I've chosen to travel my life via roller coaster, and I'm currently mid-air on a loop-de-loop. I'm terrified. My stomach is in my throat. My eyes are welling with tears. My knuckles are white.
But once I hit the downturn of this loop...my face will have the biggest grin plastered on it, and my belly will be full of butterflies. That's the feeling that makes roller coasters worth all of the fear. And it's the anticipation of that feeling that is making this season of struggle worth it to me.